Life Lessons from Amish Country

Dave Ross - completed barn with shocks

Life will teach you lessons. Animals will teach you lessons. Pain will teach you lessons. Love will teach you lessons…

I’ve been reminiscing lately about life, and how one goes about learning the lessons that are not taught in school. Here in rural Ohio Amish Country there are many lessons to learn. I thought I’d share some of mine:

A hammered thumb has a strong heartbeat all its own.
It’s always best to let go of the nail before swinging hard.

A baseball cap hides low barn beams… again and again.
Slow learners should not wear baseball caps in barns with low beams.

Things that you try to jump over are often 2” higher than you estimated.
Walk around objects instead of trying to jump over them.

Make sure the electric fence is off before you work on it.
Make sure again.

Chair legs and bare toes are a bad combination.
Keep all chairs pushed up to the table.

A skunk is not a groundhog.
A skunk produces a displeasing odor.

A cat will love you on its own terms.
A dog will love you unconditionally.

A cat will claim your lap for its own comfort,
Not realizing that its purring is therapeutic and calming.

A dog will claim your lap because he/she loves you.
A large dog has no comprehension of its size when it attempts to get in your lap.

Cats will lie to you and cry for food when their dish is full.
Dogs will adore you over a stale piece of bread.

There may be only one thistle in your lawn.
Your bare feet will always find it.

A turkey will viciously peck your nose if you get too close to the fence.
Don’t squat down to look through a turkey fence.

A yellow jacket can sting many times.
A honey bee can sting only once.

Roosters will teach you to always watch over your shoulder.
Roosters make very good soup.

You can’t lead a donkey where it doesn’t want to be led.
But you can cover its eyes with a feed sack, and steer it backwards.

Pigs stink.
Bacon is delicious.

Always carry a spare tire.
Spare tires can go flat in your trunk.

When the gauge says empty…
Believe it.

Amish buggies move very slowly up long hills.
You will find yourself behind them in direct proportion to your lateness for an appointment. It will be OK.

Trailer hitches were designed to help you find your shins.
When walking around the back of a truck, give it wide berth.

Men have a hard time stopping to ask for directions.
Note to self. Always carry a map and/or GPS.

It is not possible to completely understand a woman.
It is possible to be madly in love with her anyway.

One of the most powerful words in the universe: Love
Two of the most powerful words in the universe: I’m sorry.
Three of the most powerful words in the universe: I was wrong.
Four of the most powerful words in the universe: Will you forgive me.
Five of the most powerful words in the universe: Let’s go have ice cream.